A Site for Sore Eyes

lifeintelevision — Fri, 27 May 2011 13:46:41 +0000

Most hypocritical person I have ever known, cannot wait to get out of here.

Make a Change

lifeintelevision — Thu, 26 May 2011 07:04:02 +0000

Down 15lbs as of this week! 5 more to go until I’ve reached my goal and I was giving myself until the end of June. (When my gym membership is up.) At the rate I’ve been going it will probably take until then to get the last five pounds off. The difference between this weight loss and the one from 2008 is that I worked for this one – worked my ass off, literally. I am a lot more muscular and toned this time around and it feels really great. I want to look like an athlete even though I have never been and will never will be one.

What this has whole thing has taught me though is that it’s possible to lose weight no matter what. You just have to have commitment and willpower. A lot of people think there is going to be some miracle that is going to come along and help them out with the process but it’s not true and it really hasn’t been as hard to lose the weight as everyone makes it out to be.

It’s exactly what every article or (decent) trainer has ever told you without trying to sell you something. Burn more calories than you consume. Get outside, get active just for a little bit of time per day. I’ve got people noticing that I have lost weight and when jealous people say things like “what are your plans for the rest of the day? you going to the gym for three hours?” Well no, I am going for the normal hour I go that you would be sitting on your ass watching TV or sleeping… you just have to get into a routine and not deprive yourself of things when it comes to food you like. That’s the other huge mistake women mostly make. No carb, or no chocolate, or drinking protein shakes in place of whole meals. That is so stupid and if a trainer is telling you to do that, I’m sorry but they are wrong. You may lose a little weight initially but the fact of the matter is, as soon as you go back to eating the way you were before (and you will) all the weight you lost is going to come right back. You have to make a permanent change, something you can live with. I still eat ice cream, chocolate and fried Chinese food. Instead of eating a whole bag of chocolate in one sitting or a whole sleeve of cookies, or the entire dinner (which is like 4 servings) I just practice some self control, portion things out to what they are supposed to be. You can have those things in small portions, maybe sacrifice a little something else later. I struggled for the first 4 months and even still sometimes now when other people at work were eating something that looked good but was super unhealthy and then the couple times I gave in I felt terrible about it. It wasn’t worth it to me anymore. I think for a long time I was one of those people using really unhealthy tasty food as a comfort type of thing. And I was definitely a bored eater. So when I get bored now, I work out a little or take the dog for a walk instead of eating. It’s been so simple. And the changes I have made are something I can live with permanently and that makes me excited.

Seriously

lifeintelevision — Wed, 18 May 2011 08:58:42 +0000

One of those days where I am absolutely disgusted that I work in news. Those are getting more frequent lately. We have a reporter live at the hospital where a child died overnight from a near drowning accident…

why do we have to be live from there? Why are we even reporting this story? Ugh…

lifeintelevision — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 22:20:55 +0000

Seriously…I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am out of ideas. I am drowning…

Come down off your high horse before I knock you down…

lifeintelevision — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 16:47:42 +0000

I know that the words pretentious and arrogant are synonyms but sometimes you need both to appropriately describe someone’s character. This is one of those times…

Popples and Ponies and Barbies, oh my!

lifeintelevision — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 17:36:21 +0000

Some wonderful childhood memories came out of rummaging through the bin I finally pulled from my dad’s basement. The bin that was left behind when I moved to GR 8 years ago. At the time I had this idea that these were the things I was going to want to keep. Things I couldn’t part with and that would make me happy every time I looked at them. The sketchbooks from when I first realized my love for drawing were probably the best thing in there.

SO why did I save a box full of every card and every letter that I have ever received going back to my 7th birthday? Well reading them did make me happy for a little while. Seeing cards from my parents and it was kind of ridiculous how many “best friends” I had when I was little. Also there were letters from two pen pals I had in my pre-teen years, one from Texas and one from Greece; very cool things to have kept.

Then I got to the thickest piece of folded paper in the box, waiting there like a time bomb. I saw the wires and yet I cut them anyway like an idiot who thought he knew which one would save him. I read this letter in it’s entirety even though tears were streaming down my face before I was half way through the first page. This was one of the many letters that my former best friend Jessica had written to me while we were in different cities after leaving for college. In the letter that this one was written in response to I must have expressed a fairly strong fear about how I was afraid that she would forget about me, we would grow apart and she would just plain realize that she didn’t need me anymore. There were some strong words coming from her side about how none of that had even the slightest possibility of happening and that I had actually insulted her by feeling like I had to say it…

well for anyone who doesn’t know how this story ends, you do now. Everything that I was afraid of all those years ago is exactly what happened. It has been probably almost 6 years since we stopped talking and yet a stupid letter brings all those shitty feelings rushing straight back to the surface. I remember how it started with her ignoring a phone call or two and then any voice mails I left went unanswered over the course of about a month. Then finally after trying to talk to her online and her abruptly signing off I got an email. An EMAIL, explaining that we shouldn’t be friends anymore. I was angry and I’m sure I said some things I shouldn’t have but it’s just funny looking back on it, she almost had me convinced I was being paranoid…and there in stems part of the reason I don’t get close to anyone. I don’t have faith in anyone and I barely have it in myself. The only thing I expect of people is that they will let me down…

so I’m sorry to anyone that has tried to get past that with me, I’m sure you haven’t succeeded. Don’t worry though, it may seem like it’s worth it but I assure you it’s not, some people’s baggage is too heavy to carry.

Who needs it.

lifeintelevision — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 17:00:33 +0000

I cannot remember the last time I was this depressed…

6 month goal?

lifeintelevision — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:23:11 +0000

I’ve had a new tattoo idea for awhile. Since deciding that I want it down my side, I’ve also decided I won’t get it until I lose 20 pounds. Let’s see how long that takes…

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell”

lifeintelevision — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 00:17:56 +0000

I may be the furthest thing from religious, but sometimes a bible quote makes complete and total sense to me in the face of unexplainable tragedy.

If this woman is found guilty of what she is accused of doing…I have to believe there will be a punishment befitting that crime.

Would you be interested in a teen night?

lifeintelevision — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 22:13:23 +0000

i never fully understood why as people got older they desperately tried to hold on to their youth in some sort of embarrassing display. When you’re 14 you wish everyday for 16 thinking getting your drivers license is going to bring some inexplicable sense of freedom. And it does satisfy that expectation…for a short time.

Then you’re sixteen wishing for 18. Waiting to become an adult, to get out on your own – maybe go to college, maybe get a job- independence is your goal.

18 inevitably leads you to wishing for 21. Realistically nobody waits to drink until they are legal but once you are it does mean you can go to the bar and make as many publicly drunken bad decisions as you want without anyone saying anything. Unless of course you decide to do something illegal…

Nope that is not the beginning of a story. In fact I don’t think I have ever done anything more embarrassing when drunk then going into hysterics (which I have also done sober), talking about how guys honk at me in parking lots ALL THE TIME, arguing about someone with the color of their car and of course, crying while throwing up.

Now that I’ve gotten completely off track we can talk about after 21, after you have presumably learned how to handle your alcohol. The years after 21 and before 30 which I suppose everyone considers the next big milestone you reach age wise are all relatively similar. I don’t feel like I am consciously trying to act, dress or look young, but somehow I am accomplishing just that.

Looking and acting grown up just takes so much effort for me, effort that I have found myself less and less willing to want to put forth daily. I have a job and life in general that allow me to do pretty much whatever I want with a few small exceptions of course and I think maybe that has something to do with it. The past few weeks have included some small episodes that made me actually think about how I look to people. Last weekend I went (by myself) to a concert. That is something in itself I have never done before. That was the first time I felt out of place because of how much older I was than most of the kids there. I started to wonder what the cutoff age is for live shows. They’re shouldn’t be one, I shouldn’t have to feel weird doing something I love. I mean in reality all the members of the band I went to see are older than me and yet their target crowd is apparently 14-17 years old. Awkward.

Point being, while I was there a young kid approached me and asked me if I would be interested in attending the teen night that they regularly hold at the center. I raised an eyebrow at him and he quickly asked if I was still in school. I replied by saying I’m a little old for that, I’m 26. To which he could only say “wow sorry, you look really young.”

Also had a friend completely surprised by the clothes I wore to the bar last weekend. She said “you look a lot more punk than the last few times I’ve seen you.” Punk is definitely a young look, I know that. Although that isn’t exactly what I was aiming for, I actually wore those clothes to work that day. Also I’ve had some comments about my haircut. It is a trendy, young haircut. I shouldn’t have to or want to have mom hair yet, or ever…

None of this annoys me or really makes me feel self conscious. (although I’m sure this whole thing seems like a rant) I don’t really mind all that much being mistaken for being younger than I am. I just don’t want it to get to a pathetic point. Is there a point where I should be concerned that people think I am much younger than I actually am?

For now I am going to continue doing what I am doing. Doing what makes me feel good. Isn’t that how everyone should live their life anyway?